Tricky Wedding Invitation Wording - Divorced or Deceased Parents

I receive a lot of questions about wedding invitation wording, so many that Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette book is never far from my side. You've never planned a wedding before, so of course you have questions and I'm happy that I can be here to help you sort out the details.

Wedding Invitation Essentials

Before we get too far, I thought it would be helpful to go through some of the essentials first. For hundreds of years, wedding invitations have followed a formula - following it will guarantee you success and keeps it simple, no need to overthink this right? Whatever wording you choose to fill in, the formula remains the same:

- Who is hosting: this could be parents of the bride, parents of the groom, both parents, the couple themselves or a mix
- The purpose of the event: this could be a marriage, nuptial mass, vow renewal, nuptial mass, commitment ceremony, or even a celebration following a private ceremony
- Who is being honored: that's the couple
- When the event will take place: this includes both the date and time
- Where the event will be: generally the name of the location along with the city and state and sometimes the address

From there, your tone and style are up to you. Whether you’re going ultra-formal or modern and casual, the bones of the invitation stay the same, we just dress it up to match your day.

Who Gets Listed on the Host Line?

Traditionally, the host line reflects who is paying for the wedding, but families today are beautifully complex, and thankfully, etiquette has adapted. Here are some common options:

If the bride's parents are paying for everything, they get the spotlight. List their names first. If you would like to include the groom's parents, list them under his name as 'son of...."

Mr. and Mrs. William Johnson request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter...

If both families are contributing, tradition will have you list the bride's family first, then the groom's parents followed by 'invite you to the marriage of their children" or something similar to show unity of the two families.

Mr. and Mrs. William Johnson and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Mays invite you to the wedding of their children...

If the couple is paying for the wedding, it's appropriate to use "together with our families" or leave parents off completely, but check with your parents first to make sure no one will be mad about that.

Together with their families, Laura and Andrew invite you to celebrate their wedding...

If the groom's family is paying for a majority of the wedding, you can honor them by having their names listed first.

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Mays request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Ms. Laura Johnson to their son, Andrew...

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Wording for Special Circumstances

Not every family fits into the same formula for wording your invitations, so let's take a look at some other circumstances that might pop up. Feel free to contact me with other situations you might need help with! For this situation, if you want to include the deceased parent, you want to include it in a way that they aren't directly invited, but are still mentioned on there.

When the Bride has a Deceased Parent

Mrs. Christine Johnson requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of his daughter 

OR

Mrs. Christine Johnson requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of Laura Marie, daughter of Mr. Dennis Johnson

OR

Laura Marie Johnson daughter of Christine Johnson. and the late Dennis Johnson

When Parents are Divorced

The trick here is that each parent is listed on a separate line, which indicates that they are not married

Mr. and Mrs. Scott Spencer

and

Mr. Dennis Johnson

request the honor of your presence... 

When Someone has Stepparents and one Biological Parent isn't Involved in the Wedding

In this case, include both parents and stepparents together and make sure to use the phrase "their daughter". If you see your stepdad as Dad, honor that and make sure people know you are 'their' daughter, not just 'her' daughter.

Mr. and Mrs. Dennis Johnson

request the honour of your presence 

at the marriage of their daughter

We kindly request that our wedding day be for adults only.

Bonus Tips: Child-Free Wording

If you’re planning an adults-only event, the best place to note it is on your details card or website, but here are a few phrases to consider:

While we would to invite everyone to our day, due to space limitations we kindly request that our wedding be for adults only.

Although we love the children in our lives, due to space constraints, we ask that only adults attend.

Let’s Take the Guesswork Out of Wedding Invitation Wording

I know invitation wording can feel like a maze, but it doesn’t have to. When you work with me, I’ll ask the right questions, give you the right etiquette options, and help you find language that feels like you.

Every couple has a unique story, and your invitations should reflect that, right down to the tiniest punctuation mark. If you’re navigating tricky family dynamics or unsure how to handle a sensitive detail, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’ve helped hundreds of couples find the perfect words, and I’d love to help you too. Reach out today!